I want to cure my "dyspraxia"
I was born with "dyspraxia" which at a time for a few years really summed my life as I was considered a "special needs/learning disability service user" and no one really took me seriously as become adult. I was still that special needs kid from Backwards School and I was sent off to some special needs group or that special help where practically all I had to do was turn up, they wrote for me I listened. It was utterly humiliating. I just wanted to function like my peers, even when I was compulsory secondary education for three years. (Year 9-11) it was extremely humiliating to my peers that I had to learning support worker with me during every lesson. And at one point, I felt like just walking out and disappearing it made me feel more and disabled and I became a target for bullying, although the girls from class knew I was transferring from a different school and they knew I had problems. I didn't get any phone numbers or email addresses and often spent lunchtime eating in the dining room alone.
This progressed further to when I was a college and doing open university, which I hated because I wanted the social interaction with the learning side of things and also I have never really had proper meaningful friendships that have blossomed, they have been toads, cockroaches and not exactly the greatest of people. The only meaningful I had isn't here anymore and the other "meaningful" friend can be extremely selfish due to his ways and his mental health. I have lots of friends online though.... :)
However, it didn't very well on my mental-wellbeing and i felt it hindered and put me into a group of people where I didn't belong. I didn't want to be labeled as stupid, spastic or backward. (The word they used at the time to describe people with special needs,
However, for a long while, I have wondered whether Dyspraxia is just waste bucket diagnosis or there is more going on and I wondered if i am on the spectrum for autism and ADHD. As those would be more meaningful in terms of accessing drugs and further support. I feel that Dyspraxia is a bit vague at times when there's so much more to the human brain. So a few years after settling down with a glass of wine one evening. I spent a considerable amount of time and dedication in researching nootropics. I knew about nootropics from the film Limitless but I knew very little about how the brain chemistry was affected. I had to dig out my A-level/access course material.
Obviously, I knew that drinking coffee and tea helped to concentrate and focus a little bit but not as much as I wanted to and I felt it was a bit weak in comparison and being tea/coffee drinker anyway and also taking caffeine pills. My own tolerance for caffeine was pretty normal. I could drink 3-5 cups of coffee and sleep normally. I rarely gave me the jitters.
So I started to research further chems/supplements and settled on a few that really helped me over the last few months
Modafinil - obviously I had obtained this from other channels as a prescription is a no go situation in the UK, even though I have spoken to my doctor I feel she just said "your labeled with dyspraxia, end of, there's nothing we can do," So I have obtained through other vendors and gone from there. So far so so good, I have learned the hard way that cannot take it after 11am and also I learned that I need to drink more water with it, which is always positive. I needed drink more water anyway :)